Sunday, December 2, 2007

Deeper Thoughts

I thought we'd finally got B-Man settled into his primary class. Last week we went about 10 minutes early, spent a few minutes in the classroom so when it was time for me to go it was just an abrupt departure. It seemed to go over well.
We did the same thing this week ... no dice. When I got up to leave he started crying and 5 minutes later the primary president came to my class with a wailing B-Man. I took him back to his class and sat down for the remainder of the class with him. I rode herd over him. If he started fidgeting, I sternly made him sit still. If he started talking, I wrapped my hand over his mouth. I was not going to let him think having me there was some kind of treat.
As we were sitting in closing exercises (and I was once again flipping B-Man again into an upright position) the thought about how there are special spirits that need protecting, so Heavenly Father sends them to earth in various handi-capped forms. It gave me pause. Is his situation protecting B-Man's spirit from being fully aware? Is Heavenly Father that confident in my abilities that he knew he could entrust this special spirit in my hands? ... I will shamefully admit that I have had the thought, "What, what more could You throw at me? What have I done?" It is possible that I am just trying to make myself feel a wee bit better in moments of despair, as I was on the edge of tears when I thought that.


Jenie said...

Brogan was most definitely supposed to be your child, challenges and all. I do think our Father in Heaven knew that you would be wonderful with this "special spirit" Not saying that it would ever be easy.

Anonymous said...

no one else could be a better mom to Brogan. You're right, he is special, just remember what category that puts you in to think that Heavenly Father entrusted this very special spirit to you. I love you FOREVER mom