Friday, November 30, 2007

Work Out

As I have mentioned before, I belong to a delightful gym. Seriously, I love the place. Just walking into it makes me feel good. The kids love it too. They are running from the minute their feet touch the ground as I get them out the truck till they hit the child center doors. We go daily, even when I am not feeling well. We'll go, just so I can get a break.
However, lately there has been a gentleman (I use the term loosely) who has also been arriving at the same time I have. Which wouldn't be a big deal; there are a few 3 o'clock regulars other than myself who are quite unremarkable. This ... gentleman is quite disturbing however. My routine is: cardio, weights, core. I'll either bike, run, elliptical, row or do stairs for my cardio- all of which are in one big area. This, up to this point has been totally fine, no big deal. For the past couple of weeks, however, this gentleman has been coming at the same time I have been. I have no problems with people huffing and puffing while they work out. Especially on the cardio. There is no escaping the sounds he is making as he strides along on the elliptical. I'm not a prude, but this makes me seriously uncomfortable. He sounds like he is in the midst of a sexual encounter. I'm not entirely sure he's not doing it on purpose because when I have looked over at him in surprise, he has given me a wide grin.
Therefore, I have started altering our pattern. When we go pick up Ms. R at 2:20, I bring along her snack and go immediately to the gym from there. This means I can generally get almost 30 minutes of cardio in before the grunter comes. Icky.
Another, not so great thing that has started happening with my gym is there has been an influx of not so desirable patrons. They have been giving away deals and discounts for a random amount of time to try to boost clientele. Which, on the whole, I am not opposed to at all. I understand they have to keep numbers up. I wouldn't mind the influx if it didn't mean they were permitting people that have never considered membership at this gym before because of its lofty monthly fees (they are the highest in the area) entrance because they are giving discounts for a duration of time.
I have been a member of this particular gym for at least 3 years. I have never in that time ever seen vandalism, trash strewn around, been offended by a remark or felt that some people just shouldn't be there. Since summer when they started this big push for more clientele, this has changed. The cherry wood surfaces in the locker room have been scratched on with keys, the glass door to the locker room was smashed, always trash around the pool the lifeguards are picking up, machines left sweaty and not wiped down ...
Yesterday, I found the end of my patience rope so far as the new patrons were concerned. As I was getting ready to go clean up I noticed a group of teenage girls in the locker room. It was hard not to notice them, as they were laughing loudly, making high pitched screeching sounds, throwing around towels, generally being loud and annoying. Inside it really pissed me off that they were being so disruptive, but did not feel it was my place to say anything. Besides, there were more of them ... and there is always that fear of the mob beating you up. Or is that just me? Anyway, after lying in the steam room for a few minutes, still hearing them through the walls, I gave up on relaxing and went to have a shower. As I was rinsing off the curtain went flying open. At first I thought it was a mistake, like the girl possibly didn't realize closed curtains meant the stall was occupied. But then she whipped the curtain closed again and I heard her yell, "Oh my G*#, what a fat cow!" followed by a chorus of laughter. I was furious! I seriously wanted to march out there and slap that little ... (insert swear word here).
I stormed down to member services (after I got dressed of course) and exploded with anger all over them. I didn't yell at them per say, but I surely did rant. After I explained what happened, I ranted about the poor quality the gym has been lately, disappointment in the state of the locker room, how I've been a member for such and such long and have never been so disgusted by the club before, demanded some sort of satisfaction. The girls were brought to member services, asked about the incident. All of them had little smirks on their faces, like they thought it was sooo funny. Once again, I felt like inflicting bodily harm. They were asked to relinquish their membership cards and escorted out of the club. I still don't feel good about it all, but I guess that was all the club could do.
I think maybe I could have let it go if the girl hadn't yelled what she did. But for someone who is insecure about how they look, to have someone else look at them and yell such a rude comment ... it was hard on my already low self esteem. Even if it was just a stupid teenage girl. Takes me back to high school. Never a good thing.

Monday, November 26, 2007


Again. This time by Becks.

The Rules

1. The player lists 6 facts/habits about themselves - try to find 6 you haven't already posted about.


1. I hate having short finger nails. I think it comes from when I was 4 or 5 and my mom praised me for having long finger nails and not biting them. Now it irritates me when one of them breaks off. That, to me, means I have to cut them all down to the height the broken one is. Which makes me annoyed.

2. I love jewelry, I just never have any idea if I should wear it with any given outfit. It makes me very confused.

3. I love roller coasters. The higher, the faster, the scarier the better.

4. I really have no concept of age. When I think of being 30 in less than 2 years, it really doesn't bother me. When I think of being 80, then I start to get agitated. But I think that's more from my phobia of old people.

5. I love physical labor. I voluntarily go out to Jerry's parents most weekends to help them build their house. It's relaxing to me.

6. I am intimidated by most women. It's an insecurity in me that feels that I am lacking something in me that they have. Which is probably true, because we all have our strengths and weaknesses. But not enough so that I should be intimidated. However, I still am.

Saturday, November 17, 2007


Yeah, I'm a geek, but I also love these silly things. Fills empty time...

A- Attached or single: Attached
B- Best Friend: My mom, Dawn, Jenie, Nancy ... all for different reasons
C- Cake or Pie: CheesecakeD- Day of choice: If I had a day off, I'd take that day
E- Essential Item: Soft bed sheetsF- Favorite Color: Blue or yellow
G- Gummi Bears or Worms: Neither
H- Hometown: Coaldale, Alberta. I wasn't born there, but we lived there the longest when I was growing upI- Indulgence(s): Pedicures
J- January or July: July. Hot weather, cool pool, awesome!
K- Kids: 2
L- Life is Incomplete Without: Family and close friends
M- Marriage Date: September 21, 2000
N- Number of Siblings: 1 sister, 1 brother, 1 brother in law, 1 sister in law
O- Oranges or Apples: TangelosP- Phobias or Fears: Dying and leaving my kids alone with their dad :(
Q- Quote(s):
There is a Destiny that makes us Brothers,
No One goes his way alone;
All that we send into the hearts of others,
Comes back into our own.
-Edwin Markham
R- Reason To Smile: Watching my kids become good people
S- Season: Summer
T- Tag Three: Jenie, Gary, Michael (yeah, that means you have to fill this out yourself!)
U- Unknown Fact About Me: I'd rather have a nice back rub over just about anything else
V- Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animals: Bring me more meat!
W- Worst Habit: (is it sad that I am having a hard time thinking of this?)...picking up after my kids and not making them do it themselves
X- X-Rays or Ultrasounds: X-Rays.
Y- Your Favorite Food: Filet MignonZ- Zodiac: Pisces


It took me about 2 hours to get all those photos uploaded and divided by title. I want my computer back! *weeps, wails, nashes teeth* ... Enjoy!

Halloween and Monster Parade

Texas State Fair, Twice!

Field Trips

Random B-Man

Whitecourt, AB

Jones' in Texas


Dinner Party

Our ward has started having dinner parties. The Elder Quorum, in their infinite wisdom arranged it. The asked for families to host, then clumped a bunch of other active and inactive members in those groups. Our group currently has 25 attendies.
Last night, I held our first. I was fairly nervous about it all. I'm always nervous about having people I don't know into my home. Not because I am worried they will wreck stuff or whatever. But because I usually have no idea how to start conversations. Last night was good though. I decided it was going to be a potluck, cooked up a ham and waited to see what others would bring.
Everyone seemed to have a good time. Most of the men either knew each other, or had something on common with the other men who were there - like computers. Two of the ladies in my group are in primary and have been since they moved into the ward during the summer, so I haven't had the chance to get to know them. Infact, I didn't even know their names! I can see myself building friendships with all the ladies who came last night. That would be awesome.

Friday, November 16, 2007

New Blog

I am going to start up a blog just for B-Man. I find that MY blog is becoming all about him, which really isn't fair. Doesn't give equal play time for everything else that is going on in my life. I am SURE that he is not all that is going on in my life. Sometimes I just have to look and try harder to make it bigger than him. I'll let you know what the name is once I've figured out a good name.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

I'm Not Okay

I don't want to brag, but I've been through a lot in the last seven years. Rocky marriage, money problems, two unexpected pregnancies, kid getting mulled by a dog, through the wringing with the INS, discovering my son has Autism ... blah blah blah. I've handled it all fairly well. Mostly. Sure, it's changed who I am. But part of growing up is changing so over all, that's okay. Not alarming, nothing to be concerned about. Because in the end, I still think I'm a pretty good person most of the time.
There was a time shortly after the dog incident and discovering I was pregnant again that my sister questioned when I'd be put in the loony bin - you know, in anticipation for the break down that seemed pretty imminent. The break never came. I rounded up the troupes and moved on.
These days though ... I feel very close to not okay. I've been doing my best not to internalize as I did all while I was growing up and that's been going alright. When I need to vent, I vent. When I've needed to cry, I simply cry (which lately, has been daily). When I've needed to shout about something, I've shouted. But something in me is indicating all is not well with Krista. Physical signs that emotionally I am hitting my limit. The other day Jerry and I were discussing something of no great importance and I just started weeping. I am tired all the time, even with 9 1/2 hours of sleep at night and a nap during the day. I am clenching my jaw so much my cheek bone is bruised. The list continues.
I know I need to find a support group or some kind of way out. Some kind of interaction with adults that relieves my stress and frustration. Because this can not go any further.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

PPCD Program for B-Man

B-Man started school at a district funded program yesterday. He has quickly become what his teacher describes as the "Star pupil". He loves the activities, is very enthusiastic in music class and is sweet tempered.
I have started corresponding with another mother in the area who also has a son with Autism. It's kind of like AA - she's my sponsor - or as they call them, my angel. I am still trying to figure out what level of Autism her son has, as they have done a lot more extensive and aggressive treatments than we have. They also had their son in a district funded program which they found to be of no use, little more than a respite. I have had a few niggling doubt in my mind, I'll grudgingly admit. Then today as I was reading over the specialists final reviews, reports and recommendations I saw that they also have their reservations about putting B-Man in this program. One: There are no "neuro-typical" children in the class to help guide his actions and Two: The other three boys in his class are all Spanish speaking, which may influence his speech towards that language when his English is still developing. However, there was no indication that don't believe the program is the right thing for him. This other family have placed their son (who is now 6) into a private school. This particular school integrates "special needs" children right into the main stream classroom setting. However, they have also been doing extensive bio-medical treatments with their son ... So once again, possibly a completely different situation. It's so hard to know what is right for each child. The Autism spectrum is so wide you really have to pick through it each individually, fitting what is right for your own child. Taking into account all that others have said and trying to make the right choice for your own child. Is is possible to go over board? I don't know. All I know is there is the possibility of not doing enough.

Adjusting ...

Still. I still have not become completely comfortable with these emotions that have cropped to the surface since the whole "hormone change" associated with having kids. The oddest things will hit me at the most ridiculous times. For instance, as I was driving home from ... somewhere yesterday an ad for OnStar came on the station I was listening to. It was the usual ad: a person in distress, the ever helpful OnStar agent and the eventual resolution of the situation. For some stupid reason, I couldn't stop myself from crying. Even as I was swiping at the tears I was thinking, "For heaven sake! It's a service commercial - get over it!" Yet, the tears were still there. Annoying! That type of thing happens to me often. I endeavor to overcome it, yet nada. Still there.

Friday, November 2, 2007

Go There!

This morning the kindergarten classes at Ms. R's school had a "Monster Parade". She had chosen a few weeks ago to be a Purple monster, so while my mom was down here we bought some fluffy furry material, my mom cut out the pattern then I hand stitched the costume together. I've had to hand stitch two things in the last week, I am thinking I am about to break down and get a sewing machine if this is what is in store for us with kids in school.
So we put on the handmade furry monster costume, tights with purple hearts on them, a purple undershirt, finishing off the look with her hair in a bunch of pony tails sprayed with a purple tint. She looked hilarious. Once again, I took pictures! One of these posts is going to be nothing but pictures.
On our way home as we were passing IHOP B-Man kept pointing over to it and yelling, "GO THERE! GO THERE" I said, "Honey, mom didn't bring any money. We'll eat at home." To which he responded, "I want to eat! GO THERE" Did I mention he's dairy and mostly wheat free now? To anyone who says diet doesn't make a difference, I say, "That's a bunch of crap."