Today as I was doing some tasks for the kindergarten teachers I had a lot of time for my brain to wander while my hands were busy.
I started contemplating why my first urge while preparing for the day is to pull my hair back into a pony tail. Even on my wedding day - I had it up. Because I didn't want to have to fuss with it. On the day you're supposed to fuss!
While I was growing up, I know why I always pulled it back: Because it was convenient. Because it was always windy where we lived and I hate having my hair in my face. Because it was easy. Because I had no idea how to deal with my unruly/curly/fuzzy hair. Because I didn't want to have to wake up that extra 20 minutes earlier in the morning to deal with it.
All fairly valid excuses. For a kid.
What's my excuse now? Why is my first inclination to grab an elastic as I'm getting ready?
I know I look better with my hair down. I know it will only take me an extra 3 minutes to scrunch in some "product" after my shower. I know there is only a small chance the wind will be blowing hard enough to interfere with the placement.
When it comes down to it, it's not really about my hair.
At least I don't think so.
Most of the time.
It's about control and my essential lack thereof.
There are very few areas in my life that I am "The Boss".
The end all of be all.
The Buck Stops Here gal.
When my hair isn't contained ... I don't feel completely together.
I feel a little off kilter.
A little on the edge.
I have a lot of these little quirks.
Things I know make me an odd ball inside.
Deep Deep down inside.