I am not much for looking back at my kids baby days and sighing over what once was.
Mostly because it is now seems a blur of sleeplessness, heart aches, frustrations and fears.
Friday Ms. R came home with a home work assignment of bringing to school a picture of herself from when she was a baby.
We pulled down all her pictures (Michael once claimed if he didn't know the kids in the pictures were mine ... he'd think I was obsessed) and started thumbing through them to find the perfect one.
In her opinion.
She picked out a picture of herself in the hospital after "the incident" first.
In the P.I.C.U.
Tubes every where.
I asked her why she wanted to take that one in particular and she told me she wanted to show her classmates just WHY she has her scars.
Then she also picked up one that made the tears clog my throat.
One with her laying on her belly, one hand clasped around a toy as she gummed it to death... the other hand grasping the ear of "the incidents" perpetrator.
"So I'm going to take these two. The dog liked me, he didn't mean to hurt me. He thought I was a toy ... just like mine!"
Battling back the tears, I agreed that that was a good reason to pick those pictures and encouraged her to put them in her homework binder.
After she'd chased off after her brother I kept looking through her pictures.
I've taken so many.
Rarely of huge moments.
Just every day silliness.
Her in her baby-soft pajamins with her swimsuit wrapped around her head - one of her first attempts at independence.
Making apple pie with Grandpa Kim, smiling so big you can't see her eyes.
Eating her first Popsicle, sitting on the front lawn with a bunch of Jones cousins.
Playing on the beach in Galveston with Grandma Char.
Eating a lemon at 4 months - and LOVING it!
Laying with her head on B-mans diaper padded bottom as they watched tv.
Laughing her head off with Gramma Crabb looking way too proud ... with make up ALL OVER her face.
It makes me laugh when I look at my baby's pictures and realize she never had baby fat ... but she has always been so soft.
She has a tender heart and a fierce spirit.
I love her entirely.