she asks me out of the blue.
Gulping back tears that immediately closed around my throat I answered, "I guess they stopped loving each other honey."
"How did they do that?"
"Maybe they didn't spend enough time together, maybe they didn't want to try anymore ... I don't know baby."
"They love new people now?"
"They are both married to new people now."
"Does that make you happy?"
"They seem happy."
"Does that make YOU happy?"
"I'm glad they are married to people who make them happy."
Eye balls me. "Are you happy about it?" (have I mentioned she's really good at working around my hedging?)
*sigh* "No, honey. When I think about my mom and dad not being married it makes me feel really sad inside. But they aren't anymore and they both married new people. So I have learned to be happy for them and deal with it."
"So Grandpa Rod and Grandma Sandy are your new mom and dad?"
"No, baby. My mom and dad will always be my mom and dad. The people that my mom and dad married - Grandpa Rod and Grandma Sandy? They are my step parents because they married my mom and dad."
"So your mom and dad are still Grandma Char and Grandpa Kim?"
"Always will be."
Why are these talks always so hard?
I guess I have to learn to deal with it. I imagine they are only going to get harder.
"Mom, what's sex?"
GAH!
5 comments:
Yeah, those conversations are heart breakers, for sure. I hate having them, too. But it sounds like you handled it beautifully.
~Brea
Krista - that is so tough. What a brave mom you are though. You are teaching her so much by letting her know how you really feel.
My girls have said to me, "mom, Grandma and Grandpa Forsyth are your mom and dad right? Where is Dad's dad? Why is Grandma Kaye not married?" These are not questions for me to answer. I tell them that they have to ask their dad and then quickly phone him(in another room) so that he can prepare. It's not easy. And they surprise me when their little brains think things through and come up with new questions I don't have answers for...and I don't know if Daniel really does either.
you will never know how sorry I am that you have to have that particular conversation
Krista although I know how sad and hard it is I think you handled it so well. Also I just have to say that at first I thought I was reading an exerpt from a book you were starting to read. Seriously you could write a great children's book with this post!
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