Canadian Passport

With all the new policies stupid old U.S.A. has implemented for traveling I have found myself in the midst of a very complicated mishmash, trying to get my Canadian passport before I come up to Canada in April. I filled out all the paperwork, got the stupid (very uncomplimentary) pictures taken, sent it all up to Canada for my sister to take into Calgary for me - only to find out this morning that we can not do it that way. She cannot take it in for me - because I live in the United States. I am forced to send it to Ottawa. Which will add at least three months wait onto the process. Did I mention the plane tickets that were bought, were bought for APRIL.
So I have spent the last two hours trying to figure out way to get up to Canada to do the application myself within the next month and a half by driving across the line. The cost of it, anyway you cut it - is astronomical. Forget about the fact that I'd have to have Jerry take care of the kids while I was away; which in and of itself posses a major problem. Round and round I went. No matter how I tried to work it, the time and expense would be ridiculous. I was thinking about just having the tickets redated to July.
Fortunately I have brain farts from time to time and after TWO HOURS of trying anyway possible to get up to Canada in reasonable time and little dollars to get my passport done myself - I remembered that I am a permanent resident of the good ol' U.S. of A now - and I can get a U.S. passport. GAH! I can't believe it took me two hours to come up with that solution.