Should I Worry?

B-Man ... in Ms. R's Mexican dress, playing "mommy" to the baby. Don't look too close, he didn't have any undies on under that dress ... you just may catch a glimpse of something you'd rather not.

Have you ever

... forgot about one of your kids?
This morning after B-Man had tried to take a chunk out of Ms. R's arm, I sternly reprimanded him (over Ms. R's screeching) and sent him to his room - intending to go get him in 1/2 hour. I know it seems like a long time - but it was either that or smack him silly. That's how angry I was at him. He did it totally unprovoked. Me. Livid. Him. Still alive because I sent him away from me.
However, I got busy doing laundry, dusting, straightening ... you get the idea. An hour later I think, "The house is awful quiet, I wonder what the kids are doing ... CRAP!" Haha. Fortunately I store most of the kids books in B-Man's room. So he was juts laying there quietly looking through one of his animal books. Really, not much of a punishment if you ask me. Next time I'll put him in a corner, then maybe I won't forget him - and he won't have the opportunity to enjoy his time out.

Autism: The Musical

This special aired on HBO this week ...

(If you plan to watch it, plan to have some tissue on hand)

I know I will always be sensitive towards this topic because of the obvious, but it still stuns me to realize how deeply things like this special move me. To feel the tears welling up and pouring down my cheeks in rivers as I hear other parents echoing my sentiments. See other people struggling with the same issues I do. Knowing, even in this, I am not alone.

To see bits and pieces of your child represented in other infinitely unique and special children.
To know other children are going through, have gone through and will continue to carry on the same as your child.
Is heart breaking.

There is one line in particular in this documentary I object to venomously, it's uttered by one of the children's care takers. She says, "... it really breaks my heart when I kind of realize, wow... if he wasn't Autistic, you can just imagine the possibilities". If I were that child's mother - I'd find him another care taker. SHE may just be the one holding him back *mutters a curse word in her general direction*.

Cute:
Boy #1: "You are very smart!" (after listening to boy #2 talk about reptiles)
Boy #2: "Thanks! I always wanted to hear that..."

Sad:
Mom: What does Autism mean?
Daughter: It means something is damaged inside you

Mom: It makes me feel scared. It makes me feel responsible. It makes me feel ... sad.

Another: I want the world to welcome her and they don't ... I can try to enlighten them; but I cannot make them respect her.

Father: I always try to dream up a scenario for the future. I'm gone and she's going to be okay because ... what? What did I do now to make sure that's going to happen?

Boy: (the first words he's able to communicate, at 11 years old, via a typing voice box)
"Mom, I'd like to put you on the spot."
"Be more of a listener."

B-Man's Famous!

...well, in Wood County ... for those who read the Wood County Co-Op Electric mag. So, essentially ... 10 people will get to see B-Man's debut. And you!
On Thursday when we went out to Wayne and Linda's a lady from Wood County Co-Op Electric was there interviewing them on their very efficient home. Their monthly electric bill, which includes water heating, AC and all the other regular stuff only comes to around $120. Which, for a 2700 sf house is really impressive ... apparently.
After the interview she wanted pictures of various aspects of the house - one of them being the "on demand" water heater. B-Man was more than willing to pose beside it ;)

2 Hours & $20

On Monday my aunt Viv sent me a message saying she and my aunt Val were coming to Dallas for a convention on Tuesday and asked how close I was. I've had a few relatives come to Texas - but none of them have come to a city within four hours of where I live. So when I discovered they were going to be coming to Dallas - which is practically next door, I exctiedly informed her that I am only about 30 minutes from down town Dallas.
The aunts called me Wednesday to find out what my schedule was, I shuffled a few things around and said I could be over there within an hour. They gave me the address they were given on their reservation and I scrambled to run over to their hotel. Before I left they had said they were going to grab something to eat while they were waiting for me, so when I got to the address they had given me I didn't think much of it. Figured they'd had to go to a restaurant a little further away than they anticipated, got a slow server ... something. After waiting for 45 minutes, making several trips to the room, asking the front desk to call their room with no dice. I gave up. Hoping they had ran into someone interesting to talk to at supper or something, I headed home. Moments after I walked in the door, I get a call. It's the aunts asking where I am. I explain where I had been and they are like, "Oh... we're staying at ..." They had apparently got an upgrade to the sister hotel beside the hotel I had been waiting in. They had read off the address to the hotel they had their initial reservation with, not the one they were staying in. *sigh* (one hour in traffic ... and $10 in gas)
Yesterday afternoon they call me again to see what I was doing before 8pm. I was supposed to be going to a dinner for parents with Autistic children, but Jerry had failed to get the tickets (which I was not aware of till I asked him about it yesterday afternoon when I heard him making plans for the evening). So I already had a babysitter lined up ... and a couple hours to burn. So I told them I was going to stop by the place where the dinner was happening to see if I could slip in, but would give them a call around 6:15 to let them know what was happening. As it turned out I was unable to get into the dinner, so I called them on my way into Dallas. I was unable to get in contact with them on either the hotel phone or aunt Viv's cell - but figured they were out by the pool ... or something. So I headed on in ... checked at the front desk to make sure they were indeed checked into this hotel, knocked on their door, called aunt Viv's cell phone again, checked the hotel restaurant, went out by the pool. No dice. I waited till I had to be home for the babysitter, wrote the aunts a note and headed home. (one hour in traffic ... and another $10 in gas)
*Sigh*

Yes We Can

Because I have given up the opportunity to vote by not becoming a citizen of the United States (I feel that would be unpatriotic and ungrateful to the great country I grew up in) I feel that I should not have a strong voice when it comes to politics and candidates. That does not mean that I am not paying attention to the candidates, the debates, other peoples opinions, how things are evolving, the byplay that occurs daily. This afternoon as I have been laid way low with the hinting of another sinus infection I was wandering around political ads and came upon one I particularly liked. Not that I throw my support behind this particular man ... but the video is well put together.

Easter

This year the kids and I spent Easter long weekend out at the Crabb's (Jerry joined us Saturday evening). It was a nice weekend, I got to nap a bit, have someone fuss over food, and an extra couple eyes to keep track of the kids.
I've decided against perpetuating the Easter Bunny myth. It bothers me that Santa takes away so much of the true spirit of Christmas, but you cannot rightfully take Santa away from kids. That would just be mean spirited. However, in my estimation, there is nothing magical or special about the Easter bunny. Therefore, when the kids get up Easter morning, there is a nice pile of presents for them, a new outfit and a bit of candy - but they are aware that mom and dad have bought it for them. Then after church we have an Easter egg hunt. This year, since we were out in Quitman, we joined Pat & Lon's (Lon is Wayne's uncle who lives right next door) Grandkids and Great Grandkids in their Easter festivities.

Tulips

I have a feeling my tulips are on their last hurrah. Though they have been opening and closing daily with the temperature they have started ever so slowly to lose their peddles. Which really makes me very sad. Tulips, for all their looks don't last nearly long enough. I think next year I'll invest in some hearty daffodils.

*The Pilot's Wife*

I found this book in the most unusual (for me) way - browsing through the clearance rack at 1/2 Price Books. I have been very determined lately to read more than romance novels. Not that I have turned my back on romance novels altogether, of course. They are my reward for reading a "different" kind of book. Ones that I am not embarrassed by the embracing couple on the cover and have to hide when I am in public. Though this was on "Oprah's Book Club" list - which means by principle I wouldn't generally ready it, the theme of the book intrigued me.

"How do you ever know you know a person?" is the general theme echoed throughout this book. The question many people probably ask themselves every day in interactions they have with others is hit head on in this interesting book. This story follows a woman after she discovers the plane her husband was piloting exploded over the ocean. How she deals with the information that develops from him not being able to manage his life anymore... essentially.

I enjoyed this book. It was an easy read, with vivid imagery and interesting characters.

Linda

Jerry's mom, Linda Kay, is such an oddity to me because she is so full of blatant contradictions. Maybe more people in my acquaintance are - I just notice it the most in her because I associate closely with her quite frequently. For all my head shaking at her and her ways, I love her. She is kind hearted, generous, thoughtful, fun to be with, willing to ally herself with an idea even when she knows it's the "wrong" side to take. Linda never does anything in a grandiose type way, that would hint that you should be grateful for what she is doing for you. More matter of fact and is always so flustered when you notice what she has done.
This afternoon as I was unpacking my bag here at their place in Quitman I happened to glance over at a bedside stand in my room. It has a few random nick knack type items on it - along with a teddy bear I gave her in way of sharing the surprise of my pregnancy with Ms. R. It's just your regular run of the mill teddy with a sweater proclaiming, "I (heart) Grandma". I remember the look on her face as she sat across the table from me and pulled it out of the gift bag, puzzled ... astonished ... then pure glee. She was so excited for us! That was the first time I felt anything but apprehension since I discovered I was pregnant. She was the first person to express true delight over the pregnancy. Because of the strained situation surrounding Jerry and I at the time - which, I admit, Linda was not aware of ... but my family was - there had not been the same excited reaction from my family. Or myself for that matter. It was more, "Oh, baby ... what have I brought you into?"
I am so blessed to have her in my life and the lives of my kids. She dotes on all of us ... especially Ms. R. I love having her live only a couple hours away, so I can have a close relationship with her and Ms. R gets to grow up with a granny she can paint her finger nails with, winningly convince to buy her ridiculous items her mother would never consider, snuggle and watch musicals with... among numerous other things I never had the opportunity to experience.

Play Day

A lady who recently moved into my ward needed a babysitter for her son this week because she was heading out of town for a teaching/conference type thingy. She initially booked Jenna, but their family decided to head down to the Alabama Gulf Coast. So I offered to take over the job because, as Jerry says, I'm a sucker. I don't think I'm so much a sucker as being willing to help out others when they are in tight spots.
The baby is right around 17 months. I had TOTALLY forgotten what it was like to have a baby around. They are so ... full of tears, so unable to do things for themselves, so into every thing, so putting every thing in their mouth-ish ... Today he was coming down with something because he was intensely cranky. Unless I was holding him, he was crying. I had apparently put that memory out of my head too. His dad came by early to pick him up; which, I admit, I was a little grateful for. I wasn't losing my patience, but my arms ached.
Hazel and her four girls came over this afternoon for a play day. It's always awesome to have them over, her girls play really well with my kids. No fights, no tears. Just fun for the kids and a lot of time to chat for Hazel and I. As we were going our separate ways her parting comment to me was, "Thanks Krista, talking with you is better than going to a psychologist..." Which made me laugh. I've always known I was good at talking but my listening skills have never been praised. Not that I'm not a good listener ;)

Spring Cleaning

Yesterday we started our Spring Cleaning. Yep, this year I get to say "we" - my kids pitched in! As I was starting in on scrubbing down the window sills with both kids perched beside me enraptured, B-Man chirping, "Thank you mom!" (which in B-Man speak means, "Give it to me now!")as he reached for the scrub brush - I figured, "why not?"

*Lost Boys*

The librarian at Rhiannon's school is part of a book club. She always tells me all about the books the are involved in and suggests I read various "goodies". A while back they were reading the book "Lost Boys" by Orson Scott Card, she was inspired to talk to me about it because we have discussed our religions and the main family in the book is Mormon. She really encouraged me to read this book, I kind of agreed half heartedly, not really wanting to read it after she had described it to me. However, when she was done she rented from her public library again with the express purpose of borrowing it to me. Feeling guilty enough for showing interest in a book that even from the description I was repelled by, I broke down and read it.
About a Mormon family (that fact plays a roll in various characters lives - though never depicts the religion in a bad light) who moves to a southern town for a job. The events that play out through the book leave a mother who is already paranoid even more paranoid of the world in general. If you like creepy books and endings so sad you're weeping copious amounts ... this book is for you.

Afraid

... that Ms. R's nickname will be RhiRhi. Already at school, her teacher writes "Rhi" on her art work. I know this is probably because she's trying to whip through it quickly ... but I still kind of grit my teeth together. However, I don't think Ms. R will be the one to perpetuate the nickname game. When I hear people ask her what her name is she will correct them over and over again until they get it right, almost yelling at the near the third correction. Very reassuring to a mother who hates it when people shorten names. This afternoon when she got into the car she asked me, "Mom, my nick name is Buettercup, right?" Which made me laugh, because that is what I call her fairly often. I derived it from the Princess Bride ... of course because Ms. R is a girlie little princess. And "princess" just seemed to generic.
I think I'm babbling ... I'm off to bed!

*Every Waking Moment*

In general, I avoid suspense like the proverbial plague. I don't enjoy suspense, to me the feeling really isn't fun. It's right up there with horrified. Sensation I'd rather not experience often.
However, while my mom was down here she read a book called, "Every Waking Moment" and encouraged me to read it after she was done. I vehemently refused, even when she said it was "romantically suspenseful" (knowing I am a sucker for romance). Suspense isn't romantic! It's scary and nerve racking and worrisome. None of those emotions are enjoyed by this particular reader. She left it here when she went home so I could take it to the Half Price Book store and get a little credit from it towards another book.
The other night I really didn't feel like watching tv, playing a game on the computer, or aimlessly doing anything else useful. So I picked up the book, prepared to dislike it. It was a page turner!
About a lady in an abusive relationship who needs to flee with her young son. It made me feel like I was reading the book to a movie I couldn't quite put my finger on.

Bella at Midnight

I was surfing through some other people's blogs the other day and one of people's blog I read had posts of books the author had read as she read them along with her review of the book. I think this is a great way to learn more about people, as well as a fantastic way to find new books. Obviously if you know the person, you'll know if you're going to like the kind of books they read or not.
I started picking up random books at Rhiannon's library while I was shelving a while back and mentioned to the librarian that I would love to borrow a few, as they seemed really good. She was more than delighted to open me my own account (which I didn't have to have my picture taken for ...) so I could take out books when ever I wanted.
On Thursday I borrowed the book "Bella at Midnight". I liked the write up and thought it would be a fun little book to read - remember, Rhiannon's school only goes up to the fifth grade. However, I quickly found myself deeply involved in this book.
About a knights daughter who is sent to live with peasants in the (possibly) 18th century and the ramifications of the choices she and those around her have on events. It's a really good book, a lot better than I was expecting. The author introduced words that I haven't read in adult books about this time era. From here on in, I will place an asterisks beside the entries that are entirely about books, so you can skip them if you'd like.

For mom ...

They're growing GREAT, despite the stinking snow ;) ... I think next year, I'll grow more, as the tulips seem rather sparse. I haven't seen any of the seeds we planted popping through yet. How long do I have to wait? Maybe gardening isn't for me after all - with all the patience that is required before the reward.

Tagged by Jenie...

A. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning.

B. Each player answers the questions about themselves.

C. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 other people and posts their names and leaves a message on their blog letting them know they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog to get directions.

1. What was I doing 10 years ago?

From the time I graduated high school till I got married it all sort of blends together. I was in Banff first, then moved to Calgary, then to Lethbridge, then back to Coaldale, up to Edmonton ... then down to Texas. So ten years ago ... I was ... in one of those places? Probably living in my parents basement suite, working two jobs, hating life in general.

2. 5 things on my to do list:
a) Renovate the house, so that I can finally like living here
b) Move (haha, kind of contradicts the first one, eh?)
c) Get a job I like in the next 2 years
d) Take up a hobby. Not sure what that will be yet.
e) Learn more about Autism so I can further B-Man's at home learning

3. What snacks do I enjoy?
I love a good tangelo, if someone else will peel it for me.
Ranch flavored rice cakes. I can devour a whole bag by myself.
4. What would you do if you were instantly a billionaire?
Start it all over again.

5. 3 bad habits
a) I easily get addicted to the point of almost obsession with new things, ie: Genealogy, computer games, websites
b) I think about the past too much
c) I can see the positive more easily in others than I can in myself

6. 6 places I lived

Coaldale
Banff
Calgary
Edmonton
Bedford
Hurst

7. 5 Jobs I've had

A: Chef's Assistant - Sandman Inn catering
B: Cashier - Stop 'n' Go
C: Hostess - Hard Rock Cafe
D: Sandwich Artist - Mom's Subway
E: Assistant Manager - Roots Canada Outlet8. 5 things people don't know about me
a) I hate cleaning. I love a clean house, though - so I do it. Often.
b) My biggest fear came to reality when B-Man was diagnosed with Autism. I'm dealing with it, but I still cry over it. Often
c) I can easily forgive (if not forget) a wrong done to me, but if you mess with my kids - I'll take off your head. And remember it for the rest of your natural life.
d) I wish every day that my family lived closer to me.
e) I've had my ears pierced three times. Not three piercings. Three times ... in the same place. I keep forgetting to wear earrings and they grow over and I have to start all over again.


All right now its someone elses turn:
Nikki
Becka
Dawn
Mandy
...Michael?
I tag you, and anyone else who wants to share personal information.

Pizza Night

I'm diligently trying to start random traditions with my kids, as I think they are important. I like the feeling they invoke in me as I reflect back on my childhood; I'd like to give my children this same gift.
Therefore, I recently started a new tradition - Pizza Night. You know, the old stand by. Buy all the pizza fixings and let the kids make them themselves, delight in the process of deciding what they want on it, ect. Both my kids are generally under foot as I am making supper, because obviously mom is doing the funnest thing IN THE WORLD. So having a night when it's all about them making their own supper is really fun for all of us ... and easy on me ;)

Friday Nights ...

are the night I let my kids stay up a little bit later, eat snack foods and sleep in my bed. I've discovered since I started this little tradition my kids come to my bed less often during the rest of the week (I didn't say they stopped altogether) and Ms. R really looks forward to Fridays. This week we found America's Funniest home Videos as we were channel surfing and I paused for a minute to see what their reactions would be. They LOVED it! Their responses to the home videos made it even more amusing for me. B-Mans favorite video was of a boy riding his bike off a ramp and into a body of water (I'm still not sure why that's funny) and Ms. R's fav was of some guys driving a golf cart into a tree. Letting them stay up late Friday night came in handy Saturday night with the time springing forward - as they were both so tired they were asleep before 7:30 and had no problem waking up for church this morning (... 8:30A.M. roll call).

Snow Day

At least THEY engoyed the snow

Snow. In March. Yuck.

2:30p.m

3:30p.m. ... and it's STILL falling!

Two Days ... Sea World

Big 29

Hey! I know it's been a while, but my mom has been here visiting! I hate wasting time writing things down I could be doing them instead. Especially when i have someone to do them with!
My mom got here on the 19th (it's a tradition we started the year I moved down to Texas) so she could celebrate my birthday with us. She brought me down the most touching, fabulous gift; if you scroll a few entries back I talked about wanting one of the bowls my grump Jones had made when he was alive and how I have unsuccessfully been giving my dad hints that I want one of his. My mom read that entry - unbeknown to me, she also had one of his bowls. That she gave to me for my birthday. *Me, opening the present, sobbing*. I know to some, it's just a bowl. But to me, it's a piece of my grump. A piece of his hard work, ingenuity, intelligence and love. That I can hold onto, touch, look at ... remember a really fun man. We went out to Texas Land and Cattle because I figured I actually wanted my kids to eat. When we went out to Sushi last year, we had to stop at a McD's on the way home to feed my kids something.
I have been talking about wanting more out of my Ipod than the one I have. One that holds more songs, has more battery, can play movies, ect. I use it when I go to the gym every day - and I need that to make it through my half marathon training! I find it easier to jog six miles when I have some distraction. So, surprisingly, Jerry got me a new IPOD for my birthday (he was actually listening when I talked.... can you imagine?). One that hold movies, songs, pictures, pod casts, ect. Most excellent! I've already watched two movies on it, I love it!